On Congress, a white El Camino and a seemingly suicidal cyclist darting up the narrow center between opposing lanes of traffic. Impressive. I’m such a meander-er. I have not been of a mind to blog lately. I have been revising semi-steadily, became frustrated during my phone discussion with Joy last night because I feel like I’m unable to get my Parviz (Persian doctor) story precisely where it needs to be. I am still clinging to writing about my own emotions and relying on the interior for revelations. I need to externalize in two senses of the word. But it was useful, and I will get there. I’m just nervous about getting into a program this time around. It’s this year or never.

I was surprised to find Medici (one of my reg spots) so crowded, no tables only room at the white tile bar. She said it’s a gathering of airbnb folks. I said I have never used it either but have used couchsurfing, which is big in Austin. It reminded me that I intended to get up with those guys when I moved here. They’re a fun, relatable crowd. To the other barista, the dark-haired guy with glasses who made my drink ( I don’t know names, but I come here often enough that we know each other’s faces, make small chat), I responded to his comments about mid-shifts normally being slow by saying that I was a barista a long time ago but only worked closing shifts. Immediately, I wondered if that came off as snobbish- saying that I did the same work a long time ago. Ugh. I kind of wanted to tell him that I’m desperately unemployed and would be glad to take a barista job now. The prospect makes me nervous though. I never felt at ease making lattes and the like.

I need a job. Write Camp is rolling again, but that pays peanuts.

Meeting Omar, a new online acquaintance, tonight. I wonder where he is from. I had a new idea for a story beginning, but I must REVISE first.

I squashed a cockroach at Hideout last night, was relieved I was able to avoid it crawling on me and me screaming like a banshee.

Dan was nice enough to pay my cab fare back to Congress from his place on the Eastside so I could join his Halloween horror marathan. I watched an obscure 80’s one on VHS with them (Hell Night). I had a mixed drink though after Friday I swore off booze for two weeks. Man,it took me the whole weekend to recover from my reckless mix of punch,wine,beer,vodka. The unfortunate bit is that I seemed to go from 0 to 10 (sober to wasted) with no fun in-between. It was still a good time with raucous Oscar and co., though. Dan’s party. Though I didn’t have a proper costume per se, I did better than most years. I thrifted a faux fur vest and crazy black Howard Stern like wig. Trashy personified, basically. Kicking myself for getting no pics of the whole affair.

Had a virgin vocabulary encounter (in natural habitat) while reading a short story by Charles D’Ambrosio (faculty at Portland State, to which I am still deciding whether or not I should apply). ‘Magniloquence’. Referring to a Salvadoran man’s use of the ‘certainly’ when he knows little English. I have had the phrase ‘creative ineptitude’ in my head. I thought of it while texting Mark, a damn funny San Antonian I met on okc. Damn it, these guys suck me in to texting. It is nice to be thought of, but trying to formulate my thoughts to fit within the confining format makes me tense.

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